Unmasking Narcissists in the Workplace: Identifying the Flying Monkey Phenomenon
- The Ugly
- May 25, 2023
- 4 min read
Identifying Narcissists in the Workplace
Navigating the professional world can sometimes be challenging, especially when dealing with difficult personalities. Among them, narcissists can pose a significant challenge to workplace dynamics and employee well-being. Recognizing the signs of narcissistic behavior in colleagues or superiors is crucial for maintaining a healthy work environment. In this article, we will explore key characteristics and strategies to identify narcissists in the workplace.

Excessive Self-Importance: They often believe they are superior to others and have a constant need for admiration. Look for individuals who frequently boast about their achievements, belittle colleagues, or consistently seek recognition for even minor accomplishments.
Lack of Empathy: They tend to dismiss or invalidate the feelings and needs of their colleagues. Pay attention to individuals who are indifferent to the concerns of their coworkers, frequently interrupt conversations, or exhibit a pattern of exploiting others for personal gain.
Constant Need for Attention and Validation: Narcissists thrive on attention and validation. They constantly seek admiration and praise, often dominating conversations and making everything about themselves. Observe individuals who frequently interrupt discussions, hijack meetings, or undermine the contributions of others to redirect the focus onto themselves.
Manipulative and Controlling Behavior: Narcissists are skilled manipulators and often employ tactics to control and undermine those around them. They may engage in gaslighting, spreading rumors, or using emotional manipulation to maintain power and control. Take note of individuals who consistently use subtle tactics to gain an advantage, exploit others, or create a divisive work environment.
Lack of Accountability: Narcissists rarely take responsibility for their actions. They tend to shift blame onto others and avoid acknowledging their mistakes or shortcomings. Watch for individuals who deflect responsibility, refuse to apologize, or consistently make excuses for their behavior.
Exploitative Behavior: Narcissists often exploit and take advantage of those around them to achieve their own goals. They may use colleagues as steppingstones for personal gain without regard for the impact on others. Be cautious of individuals who consistently manipulate situations to their advantage, disregard boundaries, or exploit coworkers' skills and resources.
Identifying narcissistic behavior in the workplace is crucial for fostering a healthy and productive environment. By recognizing the signs of narcissism, individuals can develop strategies to minimize the negative impact of such personalities on their well-being and career. Remember, the goal is not to diagnose or label someone as a narcissist, but rather to gain awareness and employ effective coping mechanisms to navigate workplace interactions successfully.
The Narcissist's Flying Monkey
In the complex dynamics of dealing with narcissistic individuals, there is often another character that comes into play: the "flying monkey." Coined from the infamous flying monkeys in "The Wizard of Oz," the term refers to individuals who willingly or unwittingly enable and support the narcissist's manipulative behavior. Understanding the role of the flying monkey is essential in navigating challenging relationships and maintaining one's emotional well-being. In this article, we will explore the concept of the flying monkey, their characteristics, and strategies for dealing with them effectively.
Defining the Flying Monkey:
The flying monkey is a person who aligns themselves with the narcissist and acts as their advocate or accomplice. They willingly or unknowingly support the narcissist's manipulations, providing validation, spreading rumors, or engaging in harmful actions on their behalf. They are often under the influence of the narcissist's charm, manipulation, or fear.
Characteristics of a Flying Monkey:
Blind Loyalty: Flying monkeys display unwavering loyalty to the narcissist, often defending their actions regardless of how harmful or irrational they may be. Lack of Autonomy: They have a limited ability to think critically or form independent opinions, as they adopt the narcissist's beliefs and viewpoints as their own. Manipulation Targets: Flying monkeys are typically recruited to carry out the narcissist's bidding, such as spreading rumors, harassing, or intimidating others, or undermining the narcissist's targets. Empathy Deficit: Like the narcissist, flying monkeys often lack empathy and fail to consider the emotional impact of their actions on others.
How Flying Monkeys Enable the Narcissist:
Validation and Narcissistic Supply: Flying monkeys provide the narcissist with the validation and attention they crave. They reinforce the narcissist's grandiose self-image and bolster their sense of superiority.
Gaslighting and Distortion: Flying monkeys assist in distorting reality, making the narcissist's victims doubt their own perceptions and sanity. They reinforce the narcissist's false narrative and may participate in gaslighting tactics.
Enforcing Control: Flying monkeys act as the narcissist's enforcers, ensuring compliance from others through intimidation, ostracism, or other manipulative tactics.
Strategies for Dealing with Flying Monkeys
Recognize the Pattern: Identify the individuals who consistently align themselves with the narcissist and engage in manipulative behaviors.
Set Boundaries: Establish firm boundaries to protect yourself from the influence of flying monkeys. Clearly communicate your limits and expectations.
Seek Support: Build a network of trusted friends, family, or colleagues who can provide emotional support, perspective, and validation.
Document Incidents: Keep a record of any instances of manipulation, gaslighting, or harassment perpetrated by flying monkeys. This documentation can be valuable in addressing the issue.
Maintain Emotional Distance: Limit your interactions and emotional investment with flying monkeys, as engaging with them often leads to further manipulation and stress.
Seek Help: If the situation becomes overwhelming or begins to significantly impact your well-being, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with narcissistic abuse.
Dealing with flying monkeys in the context of narcissistic relationships can be challenging. Understanding their role and characteristics empowers individuals to navigate these dynamics with greater awareness and resilience. By implementing strategies to protect oneself, establish boundaries, and seek support, individuals can minimize the negative impact of flying monkeys and maintain their emotional well-being. Remember, it's crucial to focus on your own growth and self-care when confronted with such challenging relationships.
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